I am a ChangeMaker

I have now been in San Diego for a week and a couple of days. Reflecting back is a little difficult, I have had a very busy week. Lets start with my job…

My job is AWESOME!

It is wonderful to work in an environment with people that love their work. There is an energy that consumes the office. This energy is “passion”… a passion for education, a passion for life, and a passion for helping others. The love they have for their work is evident, as they are also great at their job.

I must admit I had my reservations when coming to the University of San Diego (USD), I heard great things about the Ph.D. program but the campus at-large I was still unfamiliar with. In a very short period, all reservations are gone and they have been replaced with sheer excitement.

USD is a private catholic school. Many of the students come from privileged backgrounds (nothing wrong with that). I went to Fresno State, many of the students there are first-generation/ low-income (nothing wrong with that). I have had discussions of privilege, and more specifically white privilege at both universities.

To my surprise, it was not until I got to USD and worked for the Center of Awareness, Service, and Action (CASA) that I was able to have a very, very honest discussion on white privilege.

It is encouraging that the people around me are so aware of their surroundings. It is also inspiring that the people around me are cognizant of how their actions effect not only them but the larger community we live in.

Working for CASA has re-instilled my motivation for why I want to work in higher education.

I have always thought of myself as one that serves his community, but it was not until today did I ever ask myself, am I changing my community? Furthermore, I must ask myself, am I changing my community in such a manner that the future generations that will come after me will also be able to thrive as I have?

I have now taken a personal oath to become a ChangeMaker.

In keeping with my personal values, which are to serve God first, I believe in order to stay true to this; my community needs to become a priority as well. To love yourself, is to love your neighbor. We will only thrive if our community is thriving, and if our community is struggling then so will we.

Therefore, God give me strength, so I can strength my community, and then allow me to reap the benefits, so the cycle can continue. 

New school. New job. New city.

New school.
New job.
New city.

For many some would say moving from Fresno to San Diego is a big upgrade. Sweltering summer heat to beautiful blue skies and beaches, that is nice; I certainly do feel blessed to wake up to rolling hills and a bay of water as the backdrop. The other night a friend and I were leaving my apartment to enjoy a night on the town and some fireworks were going off. Apparently, it is Sea World's fireworks, it happens every Saturday night, and I get to see them from my patio… “cool”.

Beaches, fireworks, night life, San Diego seems to have it all.

One thing San Diego does not have is my friends and family. It has only been a couple of days and I already miss them. I am not home sick, rather I miss the love and loyalty I was surrounded with in Fresno. Around them I felt safe, I felt complete. Every one of them has had a piece in making the man I am today.

God brings certain people in your life for a reason, for the few in Fresno that I speak of, I believe God brought them into my life to give me courage (which is why I named this blog to have enough courage).

With many late night talks with my classmates studying at the library, to dinner with the Lopez family, to having arguments with my homies over some brews and BBQ, to dancing the night away with my fellow salseros. Each of you has given me the courage to make “history”. I say history because many people from the foster care system never go to college let alone are accepted into a Ph.D. program. As well, there are more young black males sitting in prison cell blocks then sitting in college classrooms. I am truly blessed. I give all grace to God.

So…Today I look forward to begin a new journey, today I simply wish to just not get lost every time I decide to go some where. It took me a good 20 minutes to find the grocery store. With gas over $4 dollars a gallon in San Diego, I must learn this city fast. Nevertheless, I will take my time throughout this journey of school and career.

I plan to update my blog at least once a week to give my loved ones an opportunity to stay up to date with me. I will have everything from personal entries, nerd stuff like research I am working on, and discuss some interesting things I find myself thinking about. Stay tuned. Love you all peace!

Concept of Love

What is this concept of love, the dictionary defines it as a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend. The dictionary defines love as a noun, as a thing, as an emotion. I believe love is quite the contrary.

I do not believe love is an emotion.

Emotions are as stable as a premature babies’ feeble cry, to give love and emotion the same breath is to equate love as something that in unpredictable something that has no balance. It is our emotions that cloud our thought of what true love is.

Making love synonymous with emotions is what gives batterers the ability to say they love you while they hit you over head. It gives cheating men the ability to say to their woman that they still love them even though they are sleeping around. People such as these people who are not only inflected with infidelity, domestic violence, but also those couples who always argue, never see eye to eye, the couples who are in a toxic relationship these couple are merely letting their emotions dictate how and when they should love someone. Love being a common dominator with emotions is the reasons why woman think those butterflies in there stomach means it love when it is just simply nervous butterflies you like someone not love someone, to like someone yes emotional, but let’s save that for another conversation

My concept of love is not a noun but a verb, love is not an attachment, it is not an emotion, love is ones undying commitment to someone else to ensure they are happy despite what sacrifices you must endure in order to see your commitment through.

My grandparents married at 20 and 19, they spent a total of 4 months in courtship before saying there I DOS. They suffered the lost of a daughter and granddaughter. At times they were separated by time and space. My grandmother told me she saved her tips from her waitressing job to call and talk to my grandpa every night. That’s real love, to care for someone so much to be so broke that you have to save your tip money to call your man from a pay phone is mad love, its love because she was committed to her man enough that if we can’t see each then we will talk, and they wrote letters too. Newlyweds now a days can’t keep a healthy long distance relationship even with all the forms of communication we have. Experiencing tragedy such as they faced wasn’t easy to keep a positive outlook and even living in different states for financial reasons as a married couple would break most newlyweds now a days however they stayed committed to making each other happy and that is love.

Love is something you live by, much like religion, GOD is love. If GOD is the definition of love then his son Jesus Christ is one whom displayed the ultimate action of love. Love is about serving others despite your own needs. I here many people say love is pain/ pain is love. That is illogical thinking; I break that down by saying simply this. If love was pain and pain is love then what do you use to get you out of those painful times. Love didn’t steer you away from happiness and into pain, selfishness, greed, jealousy, envy, are all things that steer you into moments of discomfort, not love get’s you out of pain.

Throughout years every human passes and their memories fade like ashes blowing in the wind. Love has no end love is eternal and everlasting, to be successful in life is simple its easy, because success is just merely capturing markers that society has set in place, markers that someone else has set in place that we must reach to reach high levels of success. Success is built on reputation other people think of you.

However to achieve greatness is to love someone with all your heart, stand by your man or woman in moments of tragedy, trails, tribulations. To achieve greatness in its self, in its very definition is difficult, to love another to serve others but as humans we are naturally sinners, we are inflected with gluttony and jealousy. Nelly says it best “greed, envy, hate any cake will do, fuck the game don’t that the game fuck you. The mentality of our young brothas and sistas is the thinking that I gotta get mine first is what is tragic. So now is when character comes into play, be concerned about your character not your reputation, because reputation is what others think of you but character is what you truly are. Again we are sinners by nature so it is difficult to always think about others. If you love others you will be a great person you will have great character because to love and to be loved will keep you away from greed, envy and hate.

Love is perfect, Love can take a person whose whole world is imploding and lift them up to highs they never seen or felt before. Love is a beautiful moment time that only comes around when we embrace it, when we make a commitment to it.

Emotions come and go, they are up and down. Love is concrete it is stable it is the one thing that never goes away. GOD is Love, and just like love GOD is always there for you. So if you happen to find true love in a relationship look forward to going home to a person who accepts you for your many perfections as well as your many more imperfections. Love your Man or Woman as GOD loves you. I hear young ladies say all the time there are no good men out there. I say this to ladies looking for love, find a man who loves GOD, because a man who loves GOD can’t but help love you.

By: KY

Straight Talk about the Graduation Initiative

Graduation in the CSU’s is a very hot topic it is an issue that has been talked about among many groups on campus, from administrators, students to faculty. Now more then ever is it imperative for CSU’s to start showing some results especially in light of the financial crisis. On a national level it is Presidents Obama’s initiative that educational system will halve the gaps in college- going and college success that separates African- American, Latino and American- Indian students from white and Asian- American students- and low- income students from more affluent students (National Association of Students Heads). The initiative that the CSU’s are attempting to push to graduate more students, 6 percent within 6 six years, they are also specifically aiming to close the achievement gap in half (National Association of Student Heads). This initiative has been criticized from students. They feel as thought the University is shipping them out ill prepared for life. In order to properly critique the CSU’s reasoning for their graduation initiative you must properly understand the crisis we are facing, not only economically but also educationally. It is important to understand that students on campus are not graduating. Many students are merely lingering around on campus walking around with 200 plus units without graduating. The framework of higher education is like a swinging pendulum swings one way in one groups favor at times and swings at times in another groups favor. A very intelligent woman told me once in a discussion regarding religion in how I am so reluctant to go to church. She told me to go to church and don’t worry about the issues regarding religion and how churches are ran, because in the end every church is flawed because man flawed. This is true in respects to every form of organization. Man is flawed so therefore it is inventible that certain things will not fall in place perfectly. The only thing that has cherry on top is ice cream.

Certain tools and strategies that CSU’s are using to keep students on track to graduate are advising holds and academic workshops. You can only do so many workshops and have so many advising holds until the blame for not achieving academic success falls on the students. It is always easier to hate on “the man” or blame someone else for your problems, example blaming the University for the lack of student’s success. I think what JFK said fits perfectly, “ask not what your country can do for you, but you can do for your country.”

Let’s not take the blame off Higher Education, if these are there goals to raise graduation lets hold them responsible.

I currently work in Higher education as an intern for a academic program whose goal is to help retain and graduate its students and have them achieve success once the graduate. With my experience I do believe that certain groups of student achieve lower academic success the others. I am talking about minority students and even more specifically Black Students in higher education. Black students in higher education are not graduating at the rates of there white counter parts. Depending where you get your stats from approximately 40 percent of black students graduate with there college degree within a 6 year span compared to white students Black are behind by 25 percent; you do the math.

The question that needs to be asked is why is this?

Historically Black students have been disadvantaged on every level of education. Dating back to the 60’s black students could not go to the same schools as whites students. Once integration started many schools still had racial tension and prejudices which made it difficult for Blacks to achieve success in academics. Now in the present, schools are pursuing to have more diverse campuses. The break down for CSU’s as why Black students are not graduating is that many of these students whom are Black do not have the support in order for these students to graduate. Underrepresented Minorities (URM) whom receive the Pell Grant graduate at 42 percent, those URM students who don’t receive a Pell grant graduation at 53 percent (National Association of Student Heads). This means students from low- income families are graduating at lower rates than those from more affluent areas. The students have the access but the students lack the resources once they get in.

There are a plethora of white administrators and faculty and staff for white students to connect with. But “where the brothas at”! Black students need mentors and professors to build bonds and connections so they can help foster there growth as students and as young professionals. Students need mentors to help them properly navigate their way through higher education which at times could be over whelming and confusing. Many Black students from CSU, Fresno come from urban areas LA and the Bay Area most of these students are low- income and first-generation college bound students. Campus Assistance Migrant Program and the University Migrant Services Program serve migrant students from the rural areas outside Fresno. Most of the population in these areas such as Chowchilla, Porterville, Tulare, Riverdale, and Kerman to name a few are predominantly Latino. CAMP and UMS serve students from migrant working families most of these families in the cities are Latino. The point is that Latinos are graduating at higher rates then black students at CSU, Fresno. Could it be that it is because they do have that academic support that black students lack in higher education.

If administrators want to get any where with the 6 in 6 initiative, the administrators must take a better look at the resources for students. Even in a budget crunch you must think outside the box and come up with creative ways to serve your students at your respected campuses. Administrators need to think of the Pedagogy of URM in higher education. Who are teaching Black students, outside being an African- American Studies Major, finding a faculty or member at CSU, Fresno from my experience is slim and rare.

To the students, you must take responsibility for education Black or White or Hispanic at the end of the day you must stop looking for someone to make change and it is yourself after all the only way change has ever happened. Dr. King didn’t wait for the government to create equal rights, he fought for them, Rosa Parks didn’t wait for the government to let her sit up front on the bus; she sat there on her own. If you want to make change, graduate work your way up to positions of influence and make change happen, stop waiting for it to happen. Yes we do have a right to be on a college campus and have education for all, but for how long. While discussing this issue with a friend of mine he told me that, citizens of this country should be able to go to school and receive an education. Key word in the statement is citizens. We must realize the University is investing in us to receive an education and in return give back to our communities. We are more than students we are citizens of our country, it is our duty to serve it and when change needs to take place we need to make it, but how could this happen if we are not graduating. Students I challenge you to graduate and make change when change is needed.

By: KY

The Video Vixen is The Modern Day Hottentot Venus

When I think of the video vixen I think of the Hottentot Venus. Hottentot Venus is a black women named Sarah Bartman (1789- 1816) she was a slave that was a fixture of freak shows; she had a 4’7” frame with a very large back side.

Let me pose this question, Have we really moved past this more than a hundred years later?

As I watch music videos that feature women, the videos often feature women and only their back sides as if it were a freak show. In urban parts of America we embrace women with curves and the healthiness of a thick woman but we rarely get to see the whole person. They only focus is on the sexual aspects, much like Sarah Bartman. Not only do you see the resemblances of the modern day Sarah Bartman in the form of displaying women as a hypersexual beings but hip-hop is now giving women names that rival the “Hottentot Venus” names such as “Video Vixen” and “Buffy the Body”.

Just like slave owners exploited black women in freak shows, hip-hop artist are now exploiting women in music videos.

Women in music videos are used solely for the sake of mass- audience appeal, and become the victims of using “what there mama gave them” as they stand in a thong and heels. You see Jay- Z and the Big Pimpin video a women is willing to allow herself to have champagne poured on her. This image of women is not only false, it is degrading. The lyrics of a song may sound innocent but the music video and its vivid images have effects that are endless. The images in hip- hop videos are raunchy. Music videos in the past and very few in the present were a tool used to address many social issues; Michael Jackson was famous for this. The video Black or White helped raised social awareness of how race is still an issue. Public Enemies fight the power did the same. Music and videos are influential and now with other forms of media they become you tube sensations. A kid in Compton knows how to dance to a song that originated in Atlanta such as superman that ho by Soulja Boy Tell ‘Em; don’t tell me music videos and music doesn’t influence teens.

Music videos have an influence on the minds of those who watch it. The degradation of woman in music videos is expressed more than any other form of media that is available to all ages. It is accessible to all ages, children learn this male form of patriarchy young. A part of the learned mainstream American culture is sexism and misogyny. Male patriarchy is embedded and institutionalized.

In an article called The Exploitation of Woman in Hip-Hop Culture Author: Ayanna says that “the exploitation of woman in hip- hop culture has become accepted part of it for both the artist and audiences alike and many critics blame the music without looking any deeper” Ayanna continues to talk about when going to any hip-hop related event, her and her friends normally expect to be disrespected physically and verbally, and they have to prepare themselves accordingly. She often has to be careful as to what she wears and how she carries herself so she won’t be a target of unwanted sexual advances. Much of the music and many videos specifically transmit, promote and perpetuate negative images of woman. Woman are seen in pop culture as sex objects. A significant amount of misogynistic hip-hop consumers are women; and hundreds of bikini-donned women show up for the music video shoots as unpaid participants. They are free labor!

In a study done about black male/female relationships of the hip-hop generation, many black men in the hip-hop culture that were interviewed valued economic resources and used these resources as a way to manipulate and control women. And some women negotiated with their bodies for things that they wanted. It just doesn’t stop at the music videos but you have to looked deeper into how it has changed you must delve into the culture that is hip- hop. The culture of hip- hop has changed from B- boys, disc jockeys, and freestyle battles to women selling their bodies for advancement in life.

Vibe Magazine talked to four women in the September 2001 issue who all regularly had one-night stands or on-going sexual relationships with rappers. One of the women Vibe talked to is Nikki, a 30-year-old woman who has had many lovers in the hip-hop industry. Vibe said, "…her lovers read like a Who's Who of rap." Her reason for partaking in multiple insignificant relationships with rappers was, "I've got nothing to offer…No education, no good job, and no nothing. So why would a man want me, other than sex? I felt I had to give, so I used myself." Women described, "If you had the right kind of man that wasn't controlling, and you were like a team, it'd be cool…But there's no man out there like that." The four women discuss how rappers have led them to believe there is no hope for a decent man. They have lost the concept of the true relationship between a man and woman, these four women believe women are only good for sexual favors and men are only good for money. We see here the effects of exploiting women.

How do we stop the exploitation of women? “Video Vixens” such as Melissa Ford say’s we need to take advantage of being lead roles in music videos and use it as a platform for other things. The other things Melissa Ford references to be when she says:

“I am the highest-paid video girl to date. I've endured all the side comments and ignorant remarks from people who presume to know me because I'm on their television screens and in the pages of their magazines. But I'm not the promiscuous twit I'm often mistaken for. I am a businesswoman who has used videos to launch a multimedia career. My product is me. "Besides being the lead girl in hip-hop and R&B videos, I am a sex columnist for a men's magazine. I star in my own DVD. I've hosted television shows, and I've produced my own calendar, which I sell on the Internet. My job is to sell fantasy and perfection. When the cameras go on, I detach myself and play the sexy vixen that will turn a nigga out."

From this quote she makes herself sound like somewhat of a porn star not a businesswoman.

I had a conversation with some of my peers the other day in respects of art, one young man said everything is art; it’s how you interpret it. I beg to differ on the stance of “Shake Yo money maker” by: Ludacris is not art rather a mere attempt to gain capital by preying on his fellow black people. There is nothing artistic and beautiful in nature about graphically describing what you would do to a young lady on the 50 yard line in the Georgia Dome. There is a difference between sexuality and sensuality, sexuality is a form of marketing as they say sex sales it generates capital, sensuality is an appeal to your senses and your emotions not erotic fantasies. And Ludas my dude I ain’t tryna diss as Jay- Z would say but Ludacris and his sexual suggestive lyrics and videos is not art it is capitol, sex sales. Maxwell is art, rather than pray on woman, he excites your senses, his melodic rhythms and eloquent style is art.

Education is what needs to be implemented to change the way we think of our women, knowing the history of our woman. We need to remember Harriet Tubman and how she brought men and woman across from the south and into the north. We need to remember the woman who organized the civil rights movement and let MLK JR receive all the credit. Let’s not forget all the woman who take care of their children by themselves and don’t bother to drag their dead beat baby’s daddy to court. Woman has been dragging our asses around as useless baggage for years. Now that we got some footing in corporate America to stand on we feel the need to drag woman down by focusing on their asses for. We must get away from this thinking. It is a moral tragedy that “Video Vixens” share degusting common characteristics with “Hottentot Venus.

By: KY